Polin (sweetsmirk137) wrote in kyuminempire,

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Versus Uncle

Versus Uncle
pairing: Kyuhyun/Sungmin
rating: PG-13 (becos Jintuo is a headache and Kyuhyun swears-- "hey no cursing, Jintuo said)
genre: Fluff + jealous Appa and Son

summary: none (lol)

written for the mothers reading yaoi and for all the SJ bottoms becoming a mother every mpreg fic and every mother's day. written for all SJ tops who can miraculously impregnate bottoms in every fucking time.

a/n: this has subtle connections to Mommy Kyuhyun and Mommy Sungmin but it can stand alone, i can tell. somehow. mihihi. beware of gross talks.

Cho kyuhyun has never been sappy or romantic or was born with mouth that sprouts nothing but flowers, chocolates or pick up corny lines.

Cho Kyuhyun was never a Shakespeare.

He is lame.

Lame as fuck.

He doesn’t do romance, he do jealousy.

So fucking much.

Just three days before mother’s day and the platypus tandem is busy devising a plan on what kind of surprise they would give to their momma.

Kyuhyun insisted on baking a cake but Jintuo said they always bake cakes that it isn’t a surprise anymore but his father is at the same level of being hard headed like him so they end up with the idea of cake.

“Can you bake platypus cake?” under the scrutinizing eyes of Kyuhyun, he was busily cutting the green and pink papers (which the kid later commented if why they’re having a christmas theme) to small squares using his kiddie scissors.

“What is platypus by the way, you’ve been calling me platypus all the time and now you’re telling me to bake that creature?” And the lazy dad was busy cutting the papers lazily, laughing silently when he cut the paper in the shape of something not square or triangle.

Well, it would be mixed with the papers Jintuo is making so it doesn’t matter.

“Daddy, that’s not the shape of platypus!” Jintuo shrieked as he threw the papers he’s holding. He saw what his appa was making. Little Jintuo was shaking. His daddy violated the kingdom animalia of platypus.

The almighty Kyuhyun blushed so much, that’s not really a platypus he’s been making.

It’s Sungmin’s dick.


One night kyuhyun was busy searching this creature Jintuo has been blabbing to him all day for the design of the cake and he also wanted to do a mini research for what it smells because damn kid always tells him he stinks like one.

But the moment he typed the word and was just about to hit the key “enter” Sungmin entered the room wearing only his bathrobe, hair wet and smelling like mint strawberries with even a tinge of soft caramel. Kyuhyun immediately erased what he’s been typing. Something is much more important in his mind right now.

Because luck is in his side, something very lucky has to happen.

“What are you searching my dear kyunnie?” Sungmin pinched both of his sides as the smaller man smell the neck of Kyuhyun. This could have lead to a dramatic turn of head to meet Sungmin’s lips and clutch his wet hair as their tongue dances in a fervent, hot blazing make out session, if only Sungmin didn’t see what was typed in the search box.

“What on earth is that?”

(Damn luck was easily blown away)

Kyuhyun didn’t had time to identify what made Sungmin so angry that his nostrils are flaring and his cheeks that are flushed with lust are now tainted in red anger that his robe slipped without Sungmin noticing it except for Kyuhyun ( who doesn’t have a plan to tell it to Sungmin) and an angry cock greeted him too.

Too much for staring because he didn’t realize that Sungmin is ready to burst out of the door and maybe will escape to Jintuo’s room.

“Just tell me if you don’t like me anymore.”

Kyuhyun was still shocked, mouth gaping like a fish.

“Just tell me if—“ Sungmin hold the bridge of his nose. “—you like pussies now more than dicks.”

Kyuhyun almost choked with the fly that entered his mouth.

And with a loud thud, an angry Sungmin left the room.

Kyuhyun swiveled his chair and pull his hair out of desperation. He just made Sungmin angry just two days before mother’s day. Slow clap for that, huh.

But when he raised his head, attempting to focus in making the platypus cake as grande than what he planned, an angry screen flashes right through his eyes.

It’s the day already.

Kyuhyun never felt so tired like this. Because last night, he has to make Sungmin believe he was typing platypus not coughs, pussy. It all made sense to Sungmin when he remembered Kyuhyun and Jintuo fighting over that animal or whatever (because Sungmin doesn’t know too) a few days ago.

Even asking him why he married Kyuhyun despite looking like an aged platypus.

He just answered, “love chose no time as well as faces.”

Jintuo scoffed. Because his appa has the heart to answer him, “If daddy is ugly and so is jinnie.”

And Kyuhyun laughed like he got the best theory of all ages.

And speaking of his dad, they made a heart to heart talk last night on how they would surprise their mommy Sungmin. His father told him that mommy ming will meet a friend in the morning and will meet another friend after lunch so the two giggle as they realized they will have all the time in the world.

“Daddy, mommy might be sad. What if he thinks we forgot that today is a special day. We should have done this in the morning!” Jintuo pouted (ugh, seems like Sungmin transferred half of his pout powers to this kid) as he counted the rose petals and confetti in the bucket.

“Nahh, he probably knows we’re up to something.”

And so it began.


But it ended right away when the door opened.


Apparently, someone was invited that both of the platypus tandem didn’t like.

The moment Sungmin parked his car besides Kyuhyun’s three Audi cars, his rival (becos Jintuo said he’s more handsome but still not par to his taste) swooped down the car as he assists Sungmin, his wife err, husband.

And Jintuo out of shock too, and feeling of betrayal in his nerve, the bucket full of roses slipped from his tiny hands and the petals scattered aimlessly over the floor.

“The fuck, what did you do?” Kyuhyun balanced the cake and the confetti in his two hands. “We planned this carefully, don’t ruin it jinnie.”

“Momma brought that horse!!!!”

At least now Kyuhyun knows what animal Jintuo is talking about.


The dinner was not quiet.

Thanks to Jintuo’s madly slurping of soup and the mad slicing of cake scares everyone except Siwon who instead offered him a bright smile in lieu of, “ADORABLE!!” with matching halo on top of his head.

As much Kyuhyun dislikes Siwon so much, he still doesn’t want to ruin this special day and by the look of what Jintuo was giving, he’s sure the kid has something on his mind. Then he turns his head to the bright smile Sungmin had painted on his face, unfortunately it wasn’t for him.

“Fuck, nevermind the part that I want this to end peacefully.” Kyuhyun thought in his head. So very quietly, he kicked Jintuo’s legs in attempt to get his attention even without disturbing Sungmin and Siwon’s eye flirting.

The kid saw him and Kyuhyun winked immediately.

“Momma, I’m done.”

“Ah me too, I think I ate so much.”

Looks like Siwon still wanted to eat since he was busy talking to Sungmin that he didn’t notice he just ate a little but to discourage imposing, he said he’s also finish with his plate. Siwon is not also oblivious, despite the overly bright smile he’s giving. He knows Jintuo doesn’t like him a bit.

The hate started when he came for a visit and he said platypus wasn’t in the Bible but Jintuo said all animals was made that day so his platypus was a member of the Bible gang already. Siwon insisted it wasn’t. Jintuo cried. Siwon still insisted it wasn’t. Jintuo punched him in the shin. Siwon cried.
“Uhm, I think I need to go to the bathroom. Where is it?”

Siwon ‘s question was directed to Jintuo at that moment since the couple was busy making out already in the kitchen and he doesn’t want to see where Kyuhyun’s hand is going.

“Here uncle.”

Albeit the dark aura coming from the voice, he still followed Jintuo.

When Siwon was washing his face, he saw a movement through his peripheral trying to reach his height. And the moment he turned his face, evil face of Jintuo met his eyes but what made him froze in his place with his hands stuck in air (as if caught by police) is the ‘gun’ pointed at the temple of his head.

“Jinnie put it down.” Siwon nervously said, eyes looking down at the basin in front of him.

Jintuo pushed the ‘gun’ forcefully to his head but not hard enough for him to yelp in pain. “ Shh, uncle only momma and daddy calls me Jinnie. Now Now--,” the kid whispered the words near Uncle Siwon’s ears, as if he’s really doing some kidnap for ransom, “—you little horse—“ Well Siwon was torn from laughing and getting scared at Jintuo’s little act. “—maybe you can stay away from my momma or I have to blow your head using my ‘gun’.”
Siwon pushed Jintuo’s hand softly and the ‘gun’ was removed from his temple. He carried the boy down by holding him in his ampits and later ruffled his hair that results intense pout coming from the kid. Siwon chuckled more.

“I know you only protect your momma, but hey buddy, I’m just a friend. And a friend must always ensure his friend’s safety right? Come on I just greeted your momma in his special day but he insisted for me to come over.”

Jintuo lowered his gun.

But not his pride.

“Do you I forgot about how you hurt my platypus—“

“Ahh of course. Of course, I am so sorry Jintuo I know I made a mistake. Uncle Siwon is really sorry.”

“Oh okay forgiven.”

Siwon attempted a hug but Jintuo stopped him when he remembered something.


Then Siwon felt something nudging his chin, somewhere near his throat. It pushed deeper and deeper until he shrieked out because it suddenly moved. Out of fear that Jintuo pull the trigger of the gun, he scampered away.

But when he fully saw it, all the colors in his face was drained.

It is more than a gun, it is more dangerous than a gun, or what Siwon thought.

Jintuo is holding a pink thing and it’s wiggling in his hand. Siwon gulped at the vibrating thing and the fact that Jintuo is coming closer and attempting the object to nudge his face.


That night Sungmin gave Kyuhyun and Jintuo a very suspicious when Siwon came down almost close to tears with an evil Jintuo trailing behind. Siwon was rushing down to hail a taxi and Sungmin didn’t have a time to zip his pants and fix his collar to hide his neck filled with hickeys when Siwon instantly bid goodbye.

Jintuo run inside his room. Giggling.

Kyuhyun run after his kid to know what happened when he and Sungmin is busy doing a business downstairs when he caught the widely opened room of them. He alternately eyed Jintuo’s room and theirs but decided to check on their room when he saw that his TOOLBOX was out of place.
And the pink vibrating object was lying innocently at the floor.

He cried with real tears.

Because Sungmin will kill him definitely this time.

With a real gun.


Jintuo threatened Siwon with Sungmin’s new favorite dildo.

Fresh from the west.

Unused still with a tag.

First tested on Siwon’s face.

a/n: hihihihihihiih comments?
edited:140515 9:20PM KST my friend septi sent me this! haha
Tags: character: kyuhyun, character: siwon, character: sungmin, genre: au!, genre: fluff, pairing: kyumin, rating: pg-13

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